少年维特的烦恼-第29章

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and　conquer　an　unhappy　attachment　toward　a　creature　who　can　do　nothing
but　pity　you。〃　He　bit　his　lips，　and　looked　at　her　with　a　gloomy　countenance。
She　continued　to　hold　his　hand。　〃Grant　me　but　a　moment's　patience　，　Werther，
〃　she　said。　〃Do　you　not　see　that　you　are　deceiving　yourself　，　that　you
are　seeking　your　own　destruction？　Why　must　you　love　me　，　me　only，　who
belong　to　another　？　I　fear　，　I　much　fear，　that　it　is　only　the　impossibility
of　possessing　me　which　makes　your　desire　for　me　so　strong。〃　He　drew　back
his　hand，　whilst　he　surveyed　her　with　a　wild　and　angry　look。　〃'Tis　well！
〃　he　exclaimed，　〃'tis　very　well！　Did　not　Albert　furnish　you　with　this
reflection？　It　is　profound　，　a　very　profound　remark。〃　〃A　reflection
that　any　one　might　easily　make，〃　she　answered；　〃and　is　there　not　a　woman
in　the　whole　world　who　is　at　liberty，　and　has　the　power　to　make　you　happy？
Conquer　yourself：　look　for　such　a　being，　and　believe　me　when　I　say　that
you　will　certainly　find　her。　I　have　long　felt　for　you　，　and　for　us　all
：　you　have　confined　yourself　too　long　within　the　limits　of　too　narrow
a　circle。　Conquer　yourself；　make　an　effort　：　a　short　journey　will　be
of　service　to　you。　Seek　and　find　an　object　worthy　of　your　love；　then
return　hither　，　and　let　us　enjoy　together　all　the　happiness　of　the　most
perfect　friendship。〃

　　〃This　speech，〃　replied　Werther　with　a　cold　smile　，　〃this　speech
should　be　printed　，　for　the　benefit　of　all　teachers。　My　dear　Charlotte，
allow　me　but　a　short　time　longer，　and　all　will　be　well。〃　〃But　however，
Werther　，〃　she　added　，　〃do　not　e　again　before　Christmas。〃　He　was
about　to　make　some　answer　，　when　Albert　came　in。　They　saluted　each　other
coldly，　and　with　mutual　embarrassment　paced　up　and　down　the　room。　Werther
made　some　mon　remarks；　Albert　did　the　same，　and　their　conversation
soon　dropped。　Albert　asked　his　wife　about　some　household　matters；　and，
finding　that　his　missions　were　not　executed，　he　used　some　expressions
which　，　to　Werther's　ear　，　savoured　of　extreme　harshness。　He　wished
to　go　，　but　had　not　power　to　move；　and　in　this　situation　he　remained
till　eight　o'clock，　his　uneasiness　and　discontent　continually　increasing。
At　length　the　cloth　was　laid　for　supper　，　and　he　took　up　his　hat　and
stick。　Albert　invited　him　to　remain　；　but　Werther，　fancying　that　he
was　merely　paying　a　formal　pliment　，　thanked　him　coldly　，　amd　left
the　house。

　　Werther　returned　home　，　took　the　candle　from　his　servant　，　and　retired
to　his　room　alone。　He　talked　for　some　time　with　great　earnestness　to　himself，
wept　aloud，　walked　in　a　state　of　great　excitement　through　his　chamber
；　till　at　length　，　without　undressing　，　he　threw　himself　on　the　bed，
where　he　was　found　by　his　servant　at　eleven　o'clock　，　when　the　latter
ventured　to　enter　the　room，　and　take　off　his　boots。　Werther　did　not　prevent
him　，　but　forbade　him　to　e　in　the　morning　till　he　should　ring。

　　On　Monday　morning　，　the　21st　of　December　，　he　wrote　to　Charlotte
the　following　letter，　which　was　found，　sealed　，　on　his　bureau　after
his　death　，　and　was　given　to　her。　I　shall　insert　it　in　fragments　；　as
it　appears，　from　several　circumstances　，　to　have　been　written　in　that
manner。

　　〃It　is　all　over　，　Charlotte：　I　am　resolved　to　die　！　I　make　this
declaration　deliberately　and　coolly　，　without　any　romantic　passion　，
on　this　morning　of　the　day　when　I　am　to　see　you　for　the　last　time。　At
the　moment　you　read　these　lines　，　O　best　of　women，　the　cold　grave　will
hold　the　inanimate　remains　of　that　restless　and　unhappy　being　who　，　in
the　last　moments　of　his　existence　，　knew　no　pleasure　so　great　as　that
of　conversing　with　you！　I　have　passed　a　dreadful　night　or　rather　，　let
me　say，　a　propitious　one　；　for　it　has　given　me　resolution　，　it　has
fixed　my　purpose。　I　am　resolved　to　die。　When　I　tore　myself　from　you　yesterday，
my　senses　were　in　tumult　and　disorder　；　my　heart　was　oppressed　，　hope
and　pleasure　had　fled　from　me　for　ever，　and　a　petrifying　cold　had　seized
my　wretched　being。　I　could　scarcely　reach　my　room。　I　threw　myself　on　my
knees　；　and　Heaven　，　for　the　last　time，　granted　me　the　consolation
of　shedding　tears。　A　thousand　ideas　，　a　thousand　schemes　，　arose　within
my　soul　；　till　at　length　one　last，　fixed，　final　thought　took　possession
of　my　heart。　It　was　to　die。　I　lay　down　to　rest；　and　in　the　morning　，
in　the　quiet　hour　of　awakening，　the　same　determination　was　upon　me。　To
die　！　It　is　not　despair：　it　is　conviction　that　I　have　filled　up　the
measure　of　my　sufferings，　that　I　have　reached　my　appointed　term，　and
must　sacrifice　myself　for　thee。　Yes　，　Charlotte，　why　should　I　not　avow
it？　One　of　us　three　must　die　：　it　shall　be　Werther。　O　beloved　Charlotte！
this　heart，　excited　by　rage　and　fury　，　has　often　conceived　the　horrid
idea　of　murdering　your　husband——　you——　myself　！　The　lot　is　cast　at
length。　And　in　the　bright　，　quiet　evenings　of　summer　，　when　you　sometimes
wander　toward　the　mountains　，　let　your　thoughts　then　turn　to　me：　recollect
how　often　you　have　watched　me　ing　to　meet　you　from　the　valley；　then
bend　your　eyes　upon　the　churchyard　which　contains　my　grave，　and，　by
the　light　of　the　setting　sun，　mark　how　the　evening　breeze　waves　the　tall
grass　which　grows　above　my　tomb。　I　was　calm　when　I　began　this　letter，
but　the　recollection　of　these　scenes　makes　me　weep　like　a　child。〃　About
ten　in　the　morning，　Werther　called　his　servant　，　and，　whilst　he　was
dressing，　told　him　that　in　a　few　days　he　intended　to　set　out　upon　a　journey，
and　bade　him　therefore　lay　his　clothes　in　order　，　and　prepare　them　for
packing　up，　call　in　all　his　accounts　，　fetch　home　the　books　he　had　lent，
and　give　two　months'　pay　to　the　poor　dependants　who　were　accustomed　to
receive　from　him　a　weekly　allowance。

　　He　breakfasted　in　his　room，　and　then　mounted　his　horse　，　and　went
to　visit　the　steward，　who，　however，　was　not　at　home。　He　walked　pensively
in　the　garden　，　and　seemed　anxious　to　renew　all　the　ideas　that　were　most
painful　to　him。

　　The　children　did　not　suffer　him　to　remain　alone　long。　They　followed
him　，　skipping　and　dancing　before　him，　and　told　him　，　that　after　to…morrow
and　tomorrow　and　one　day　more　，　they　were　to　receive　their　Christmas
gift　from　Charlotte　；　and　they　then　recounted　all　the　wonders　of　which
they　had　formed　ideas　in　their　child　imaginations。　〃Tomorrow　and　tomorrow，
〃　said　he　，　〃and　one　day　more！〃　And　he　kissed　them　tenderly。　He　was
going　；　but　the　younger　boy　stopped　him，　to　whisper　something　in　his
ear。　He　told　him　that　his　elder　brothers　had　written　splendid　New…Year's
wishes　so　large　！　one　for　papa　，　and　another　for　Albert　and　Charlotte，
and　one　for　Werther　；　and　they　were　to　be　presented　early　in　the　morning，
on　New　Year's　Day。　This　quite　overcame　him。　He　made　each　of　the　children
a　present　，　mounted　his　horse，　left　his　pliments　for　papa　and　mamma，
and　，　with　tears　in　his　eyes　，　rode　away　from　the　place。

　　He　returned　home　about　five　o'clock　，　ordered　his　servant　to　keep
up　his　fire　，　desired　him　to　pack　his　books　and　linen　at　the　bottom　of
the　trunk　，　and　to　p