少年维特的烦恼-第18章

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and　possesses　strength　or　skill　enough　to　make　their　power　or　passions
subservient　to　the　execution　of　his　own　designs。

　　JANUARY　20。　I　must　write　to　you　from　this　place　，　my　dear　Charlotte，
from　a　small　room　in　a　country　inn，　where　I　have　taken　shelter　from　a
severe　storm。　During　my　whole　residence　in　that　wretched　place　D——，
where　I　lived　amongst　strangers　，——　strangers，　indeed　，　to　this　heart，
——　I　never　at　any　time　felt　the　smallest　inclination　to　correspond　with
you　；　but　in　this　cottage，　in　this　retirement　，　in　this　solitude　，
with　the　snow　and　hail　beating　against　my　lattice…pane，　you　are　my　first
thought。　The　instant　I　entered，　your　figure　rose　up　before　me，　and　the
remembrance　！　O　my　Charlotte　，　the　sacred　，　tender　remembrance　！　Gracious
Heaven！　restore　to　me　the　happy　moment　of　our　first　acquaintance。

　　Could　you　but　see　me，　my　dear　Charlotte，　in　the　whirl　of　dissipation，
——　how　my　senses　are　dried　up　，　but　my　heart　is　at　no　time　full。　I
enjoy　no　single　moment　of　happiness　：　all　is　vain——　nothing　touches
me。　I　stand　，　as　it　were　，　before　the　raree…show：　I　see　the　little
puppets　move，　and　I　ask　whether　it　is　not　an　optical　illusion。　I　am　amused
with　these　puppets，　or　，　rather　，　I　am　myself　one　of　them：　but，　when
I　sometimes　grasp　my　neighbour's　hand　，　I　feel　that　it　is　not　natural
；　and　I　withdraw　mine　with　a　shudder。　In　the　evening　I　say　I　will　enjoy
the　next　morning's　sunrise，　and　yet　I　remain　in　bed：　in　the　day　I　promise
to　ramble　by　moonlight；　and　I，　nevertheless　，　remain　at　home。　I　know
not　why　I　rise，　nor　why　I　go　to　sleep。

　　The　leaven　which　animated　my　existence　is　gone：　the　charm　which　cheered
me　in　the　gloom　of　night，　and　aroused　me　from　my　morning　slumbers，　is
for　ever　fled。

　　I　have　found　but　one　being　here　to　interest　me，　a　Miss　B　——。　She
resembles　you　，　my　dear　Charlotte，　if　any　one　can　possibly　resemble
you。　〃Ah！〃　you　will　say，　〃he　has　learned　how　to　pay　fine　pliments。〃
And　this　is　partly　true。　I　have　been　very　agreeable　lately，　as　it　was
not　in　my　power　to　be　otherwise。　I　have　，　moreover　，　a　deal　of　wit：
and　the　ladies　say　that　no　one　understands　flattery　better，　or　falsehoods
you　will　add；　since　the　one　acplishment　invariably　acpanies　the
other。　But　I　must　tell　you　of　Miss　B——。　She　has　abundance　of　soul，
which　flashes　from　her　deep　blue　eyes。　Her　rank　is　a　torment　to　her　，
and　satisfies　no　one　desire　of　her　heart。　She　would　gladly　retire　from
this　whirl　of　fashion　，　and　we　often　picture　to　ourselves　a　life　of　undisturbed
happiness　in　distant　scenes　of　rural　retirement　：　and　then　we　speak　of
you　，　my　dear　Charlotte；　for　she　knows　you，　and　renders　homage　to　your
merits；　but　her　homage　is　not　exacted，　but　voluntary，　she　loves　you，
and　delights　to　hear　you　made　the　subject　of　conversation。

　　Oh，　that　I　were　sitting　at　your　feet　in　your　favourite　little　room，
with　the　dear　children　playing　around　us！　If　they　became　troublesome
to　you，　I　would　tell　them　some　appalling　goblin　story；　and　they　would
crowd　round　me　with　silent　attention。　The　sun　is　setting　in　glory　；　his
last　rays　are　shining　on　the　snow　，　which　covers　the　face　of　the　country
：　the　storm　is　over，　and　I　must　return　to　my　dungeon。　Adieu　！——　Is
Albert　with　you　？　and　what　is　he　to　you？　God　forgive　the　question。

　　FEBRUARY　8。　For　a　week　past　we　have　had　the　most　wretched　weather
：　but　this　to　me　is　a　blessing　；　for，　during　my　residence　here　，　not
a　single　fine　day　has　beamed　from　the　heavens　，　but　has　been　lost　to
me　by　the　intrusion　of　somebody。　During　the　severity　of　rain，　sleet，
frost　，　and　storm，　I　congratulate　myself　that　it　cannot　be　worse　indoors
than　abroad　，　nor　worse　abroad　than　it　is　within　doors　；　and　so　I　bee
reconciled。　When　the　sun　rises　bright　in　the　morning，　and　promises　a
glorious　day，　I　never　omit　to　exclaim，　〃There　，　now，　they　have　another
blessing　from　Heaven，　which　they　will　be　sure　to　destroy　：　they　spoil
everything，——　health　，　fame　，　happiness，　amusement；　and　they　do
this　generally　through　folly，　ignorance，　or　imbecility，　and　always　，
according　to　their　own　account，　with　the　best　intentions　！〃　I　could
often　beseech　them，　on　my　bended　knees　，　to　be　less　resolved　upon　their
own　destruction。

　　FEBRUARY　17。　I　fear　that　my　ambassador　and　I　shall　not　continue　much
longer　together。　He　is　really　growing　past　endurance。　He　transacts　his
business　in　so　ridiculous　a　manner，　that　I　am　often　pelled　to　contradict
him　，　and　do　things　my　own　way　；　and　then　，　of　course，　he　thinks　them
very　ill　done。　He　plained　of　me　lately　on　this　account　at　court；　and
the　minister　gave　me　a　reprimand，——　a　gentle　one　it　is　true，　but　still
a　reprimand。　In　consequence　of　this　，　I　was　about　to　tender　my　resignation，
when　I　received　a　letter，　to　which　I　submitted　with　great　respect，　on
account　of　the　high　，　noble，　and　generous　spirit　which　dictated　it。
He　endeavoured　to　soothe　my　excessive　sensibility　，　paid　a　tribute　to
my　extreme　ideas　of　duty，　of　good　example，　and　of　perseverance　in　business，
as　the　fruit　of　my　youthful　ardour，　an　impulse　which　he　did　not　seek
to　destroy，　but　only　to　moderate　，　that　it　might　have　proper　play　and
be　productive　of　good。　So　now　I　am　at　rest　for　another　week　，　and　no
longer　at　variance　with　myself。　Content　and　peace　of　mind　are　valuable
things：　I　could　wish　，　my　dear　friend　，　that　these　precious　jewels
were　less　transitory。

　　FEBRUARY　20。　God　bless　you，　my　dear　friends，　and　may　he　grant　you
that　happiness　which　he　denies　to　me！

　　I　thank　you　，　Albert　，　for　having　deceived　me。　I　waited　for　the
news　that　your　wedding…day　was　fixed；　and　I　intended　on　that　day　，　with
solemnity　，　to　take　down　Charlotte's　profile　from　the　wall　，　and　to
bury　it　with　some　other　papers　I　possess。　You　are　now　united，　and　her
picture　still　remains　here。　Well，　let　it　remain！　Why　should　it　not？
I　know　that　I　am　still　one　of　your　society，　that　I　still　occupy　a　place
uninjured　in　Charlotte's　heart，　that　I　hold　the　second　place　therein
；　and　I　intend　to　keep　it。　Oh，　I　should　bee　mad　if　she　could　forget！
Albert，　that　thought　is　hell　！　Farewell　，　Albert　farewell，　angel　of
heaven　farewell　，　Charlotte！

　　MARCH　15。　I　have　just　had　a　sad　adventure　，　which　will　drive　me　away
from　here。　I　lose　all　patience！——　Death！——　It　is　not　to　be　remedied
；　and　you　alone　are　to　blame　，　for　you　urged　and　impelled　me　to　fill
a　post　for　which　I　was　by　no　means　suited。　I　have　now　reason　to　be　satisfied，
and　so　have　you　！　But，　that　you　may　not　again　attribute　this　fatality
to　my　impetuous　temper，　I　send　you　，　my　dear　sir，　a　plain　and　simple
narration　of　the　affair　，　as　a　mere　chronicler　of　facts　would　describe
it。

　　The　Count　of　O——　likes　and　distinguishes　me。　It　is　well　known　，
and　I　have　mentioned　this　to　you　a　hundred　times。　Yesterday　I　dined　with
him。　It　is　the　day　on　which　the　nobility　are　accustomed　to　assemble　at
his　house　in　the　evening。　I　never　once　thought　of　the　assembly，　nor　that
we　subalterns　did　not　belong　to　such　society。　Well，　I　dined